“Dark chocolate, or milk chocolate…”
“Dark Chocolate.”
“Eh. No, forget that. Milk Chocolate.”
“Fuck it. I’ll take both”
*goes to the next aisle and finds them self in the same situation except this time it’s over cheese*
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the signs as bakers
- always bakes really cute things with pretty decorations: pisces, cancer, taurus
- bakes rich and decadent stuff, especially chocolate: scorpio, leo, libra
- their food tastes AMAZING but it looks like a hot mess: sagittarius, virgo, gemini
- can't bake for shit: aquarius, aries, capricorn
Taurus Shopping
- bae: come over
- me: do you have food
- bae: my parents aren't home
- me: are they coming back with food
ur sign as a smell
- aries: bacon
- taurus: campfire
- gemini: sharpies
- cancer: chocolate chip cookies
- leo: coffee
- virgo: fresh cut grass
- libra: coconut
- scorpio: gasoline
- sagittarius: popcorn
- capricorn: books
- aquarius: new car smell
- pisces: seawater
What the signs do on a rainy day
- Aries: turns off the lights so they can see the lightning and watches scary movies
- Taurus: Netflix
- Gemini: watches movies and cuddles up with their pets
- Cancer: makes tea/hot chocolate and curls up by a window
- Leo: reads a book
- Virgo: listens to sad music
- Libra: watches old movies
- Scorpio: binge watches their fav old shows
- Sagittarius: sleeps
- Capricorn: uses it as an excuse to stay inside and get all their work done
- Aquarius: runs around in the rain
- Pisces: sits by the window and daydreams/joins aquarius and runs around
THE SIGNS AS DOG OWNERS
- Aries: Cries whenever they step on their dog's paw
- Taurus: Tapes the toilet cover down
- Gemini: Teaches their dogs obscure tricks and brags about how much smarter their dog is than everyone's
- Cancer: Bakes gourmet treats for their dog that ends up burying them outside
- Leo: Sleeps on the floor so their dog can sleep in their bed
- Virgo: Feeds their dog organic food only to find out they've been eating their poop
- Libra: Buys matching outfits for them and their dog
- Scorpio: Trains their dog to sic people on command
- Sagittarius: Goes jogging with their dog and always plays fetch with them
- Capricorn: Enters their dog in beauty pageants and agility competitions
- Aquarius: Dyes their dog's fur pink
- Pisces: Is more entertained by their dog's chew toys than their dog is
What Each Sign Needs
- Aries: A war machine and a dildo
- Taurus: More food. Like seriously. Order a fukin pizza.
- Gemini: Someone who will actually listen to their blabbering.
- Cancer: A loyal friend who they can pour their heart out to.
- Leo: A support group for Uptown Funk taking over their lives
- Virgo: A room filled with symmetry.
- Libra: More friends *hook em up*
- Scorpio: A knife and a convenient dark alley.
- Sagittarius: A book on how to actually be cool not an adorable dork.
- Capricorn: A textbook on basic social skills.
- Aquarius: Lots and lots of pencils for their creative needs. They break too many raging.
- Pisces: Hugs.
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